I need suggestions and comments?
So we have to make a free verse poem, Is this poem decent enough to be submitted?

A Haunting

When the nightfall comes and she goes to sleep
she hides a secret that is very deep
secret that had been concealed for now a year
now her conscience is being grasp by her fear

She thought she did a good job that she did it well
she never knew that all crimes always smell
she remembers it like it was yesterday
the day she knew her mom must pay

she thought it was their time to reconcile
because they’re not able to talk for a while
but mom got a new man and just no time
so she made a plan with the help of a wine

She sees it now in crystal clear
the way she stabs and slits her ear
she buried her bloody remains in the lot next door
and drive for thirteen hours or more

Now she cant stop seeing blood from left to right
so she took a knife and plunge it in her neck with all her might
Blood splash to every corner of the room
it is so eerie the flower of death may bloom

any feedback will be appreciated.

thanks

Well, it’s not free verse. Free verse doesn’t rhyme or have any rhythmic pattern. That’s why it’s called "free." You could write something like:

When the nightfall comes and she goes to sleep,
the secret buried deep in her conscience awakens
and commands her to remember…

Etc., etc.

Keep "the flower of death may bloom."
References :